Feminism and Other Thoughts

Politics and the like are not usually topics I willingly bring up or choose to discuss because they usually end in heated arguments and frustration. However, I just read a short interview with best-selling author, Caitlin Moran, in Time magazine's August 20th issue. In the interview she was asked about feminism and said "There are 3 1/2 billion women in the world, so there are 3 1/2 billion ways to be a feminist."

I love that idea.  An original idea is hard to come up with these days so it is reassuring to know that people still possess unique ideas. I've never been big on the whole feminist kick. I often believe feminists go a bit overboard with their ideas, beliefs, and quests; so it's hard for me to get onboard. But there is no getting onboard with this way of thinking because it's your own.

I'm afraid that if I say I don't agree with feminism then it makes me a bad woman because neutrality is most often my position. I like a healthy medium when it comes to things like politics, feminism, religion...all those hot button topics. Generally, both sides have note-worthy opinions and ideas, and the best course of action (in my opinion, of course) is a compromise between the two. People today have such a hard time doing that though. It seems that people have a "my way, no highway" mentality, and it is getting us nowhere fast.

Therefore, the idea that we can be feminists in our own way means that I don't have to jump on the bandwagon. Nor do I have to feel guilty about my lack of overall support for their cause. And, bonus, we get to make the world a little more unique, which is no small feat in today's society.

Peace,
Kate

When I Grow Up...

I wanna be famous. I wanna be a star. I wanna be in movies. When I grow up I wanna see the world, drive nice cars. I wanna have groupies (boobies?). Okay so I'm not actually talking about the Pussycat Dolls song. This post will vibe with all those high school and college kids or recent graduates who are sick of being asked what they wanted to do when they grow up.

I know that nobody intends to piss you off when they ask that question but that's usually what happens. When you graduate high school people want to know where you're going to college, what you're studying and what you plan to do with that course of study. In college they still ask what you're studying and what you want to do with your degree. Then when you graduate everyone asks what you're doing with the expectancy that you have landed a great, high-paying job with benefits in the field of your major. Yeah right.

Even if we know where we want to go to college or what we want to study, the answer to the question, "What do you want to do when you grow up?" or "What do you want to do with your major?" Is still a highly frustrating one. Even more so is when people assume that you are going to do one specific thing with your major, as if teaching is the only thing I can do with an English major.

Editing and publishing was my answer to the dreaded question for a long time because it was a semi-obvious career for an English major that wasn't teaching. But as time wore on it just became an answer to a question. A way to deflect deeper questions and inquiries because if I gave them the truth to the question, "I have no f*&%$@g idea," those questions and inquiries would be sure to follow.

A lot of adults in the working world today are still under the delusion that kids with college degrees today will go into a field relative to what they majored in and will have the job for most of, if not all of, their career. That just isn't how it works today. We live in a world of betterment and progress and are constantly trying to improve our situations. People today get jobs and work their asses off to try and move upwards. It might be a different position, it might mean a whole other company or field. The working world is constantly in flux because of this betterment mentality. It isn't necessarily a bad thing but just because you've had the same job for 40 years with the same company in the same tiny office, don't expect us to want that. We'll feed you a bullshit answer if you want one: "I'm an English major, and I want to go into editing and publishing." But it's going to be just that, bullshit.

If you want the truth, ask what we're interested in. What are our passions? Did we like school and the subject we studied? Do we have any interest in graduate school? Those sorts of questions are apt to draw out more specific responses and are less likely to drive a student up a wall or into a corner where they feel bad telling you the truth that they don't know what they want to do when they grow up.

And let's be honest, did you always know what you wanted to do when you grow up? Did you do it? Are you in the same field you told everyone you'd be in? Are you working in the field of your major? Did you ever want to sneeze in someone's face when you were asked for the ten bazillionth time, "What do you want to do when you grow up?"

Well, did you?

Respectfully,

-Kate

Attachment Anxiety

This post is going out to mothers, especially new ones. Over the course of the past few months as a first time mother I have been experiencing something I am calling attachment anxiety. Maybe anxiety isn't the right word for it but I'll explain and let you decide for yourself.

You hear all sorts of cliches about how mothers have this amazing bond with their new babies. It's chemical, biological, emotional--all that fun stuff. Now I'm not disregarding this because I definitely have that bond. But no where did I read anything or hear anything about just how powerful it is and what exactly it entails. I think that lots of us would like to say that in a pressured decision--yourself or someone else--we'd be selfless enough to choose someone else's life or safety or sanity over our own. We all want to be heros deep down, but when push comes to shove I don't think many of us would be quite as selfless as we think. And let's be honest, most people don't often find themselves in such situations where they ever have to make such decisions (thank God!), but when you have a kid you feel that everyday.

I have never in my lifetime felt a pull towards another human like the one I feel towards Alex. While holding him I wish there was some way I could hold him closer. I wish he was old enough to wrap his arms around me in return and give me a huge hug without the fear of squeezing too tight for his precious little body. When I drive and Alex is in the backseat I check for oncoming cars at least 3 extra times because I am so scared that I will miss something and as a result Alex will potentially be hurt.

When he wakes up from his naps (which he takes in the room right next to the one I'm in in our tiny apartment) I scoop him up from his crib and tell him that I've missed him. I'm not exaggerating either. I did miss him. It doesn't matter that it was only for 30 minutes and he was only ever 20 feet away. I doesn't matter that I wish that he'd take longer naps so that I can get more done. I am still happy to go in and pick him up and give him a kiss on his wispy blonde hair. Seeing him smile when I walk over towards him or hearing him giggle when I make a goofy noise with my mouth makes me heart do a silly little dance in my chest out of happiness.

My fiancee is the love of my life. I am beyond happy when I'm with him and I can't imagine myself with any other man, but my love for Alex is different. I couldn't say I love one more than the other because the love I have for each of them is totally different in inexplicable ways. It doesn't matter how many times Alex spits up on me right after I put on clean clothes or how many times in the middle of one night I have to wake up to feed or rock him back to sleep; I will always have this attachment to him. It's why parents can say they will always love their kids because they can. I understand that now and I love my own parents and Alex and any future kids all the more for it.

All my love, Alex. Literally.

Mom (Kate)

P.S. This bond also makes it a bitch for me to let him cry and fuss a little bit in order to put himself back to sleep.

Alex and Pippy

Here is Alex and one of his current favorite toys, Pippy. Pippy is the monkey blanket that is soft and fuzzy on one side and silky on the other. Alex seems to like snuggling with him when upset or trying to fall asleep. And no, Alex did not name him Pippy. I did.

As Good As Old...I Mean New

Hey, hey, hey, look at me go! Two days in a row! Woo! Maybe I just need to leave the tab up on my computer so that I see it whenever I happen to go online.

The recent story about the woman who went to Goodwill to simply buy something to keep her warm during a meeting but ended up with a painting worth thousands is an awesome one! Even though the odds of me ever coming across something of that nature in a Goodwill or elsewhere are slim, I still enjoy hunting in Goodwill for awesome deals or scavenging my grandparents' basement for cool pieces of antique furniture.

I am currently sitting at my kitchen table (my only table) which is actually part way in our living room and part way in our kitchen. It actually belonged to my great great grandma who was called Busia. I rescued it from the inner most depths of my grandparent's basement and Andy and I refinished it. It is now a quite lovely walnut color and incredibly sturdy! We got a couple of used chairs from Andy's parents' basement (I'm just realizing our dining room set is are all basement rescues).

To be totally honest, most of our stuff comes from a basement rescue plan of some sort. But in my opinion, those sorts of things are the best. They usually come with the most character. Plus it's like dumpster diving but cleaner and dustier. Regardless, garage sales, estate sales, Goodwill, and basements have become my best friends while attempting to furnish our apartment. Our couches came from Goodwill. Our dressers and Alex's changing table came from basements. Our coffee table was a pallet that Andy found out by a dumpster at work and he repurposed it into a divine little rustic coffee table. (I've found such a creative and handy man). Most of our pots and pans have come from basements and Goodwill and have, after many thorough scrubbings, made their way into our cabinets.

Finding new uses for old furniture and knick-knacks that have just been lying useless is one of the most exciting processes. It gives you a whole new perspective on a simple object, like an old pallet or old crates that have now become funky shelves. They are many fantastic reads on this topic as well. Some that Andy and I have enjoyed are: "Upcycling: Creating Beautiful Things With the Stuff You Already Have" by Danny Seo; "Building With Secondhand Stuff: How to Reclaim, Re-Vamp, Re-Purpose, and Re-Use Salvaged and Leftover Building Materials" by Chris Peterson; and "869 New Uses for Old Things" edited by Rachel Hardage and Sharon Tanenbaum.

These are just a few fun books to look through and get ideas. We found all of them at our local libraries so I bet you can, too! Give them a peek and let me know what you think. Or share some of your awesome basement rescues, Goodwill finds, or repurposed things!

Happy Hunting,
Kate

Excuses, Excuses

It has been 16 days (I think) since my last post and I feel ridiculous, silly, sorry, ambivalent about the whole thing. I know that is a laundry list of random emotions but 9 days ago I moved into a new apartment with my boyfriend (who is, as of 8 days ago, now my fiancee!) and our baby. The whole packing, heavy lifting, moving, loading and unloading, organizing, and cleaning has taken an extreme amount of time from my schedule. So I feel like I have an excuse; however, I am not a big fan of excuses. They almost always sound fake, half-assed, or just dumb. I often wonder why people, myself included, can't just bite the bullet and do whatever it is they are now making excuses for.

In my case I have another pretty good excuse...we don't have Internet in our apartment yet. Never mind that there is a lovely coffee shop right below our apartment with perfectly adequate wifi. Using said coffee shop's wifi means walking down a flight of 20 (or 23 depending on which staircase you use) stairs and entering the coffee shop, finding a supremely comfortable armchair and parking my bahumpus. All this is clearly a lot of work and incredibly taxing on a single human being. Therefore I have use the excuse of not having Internet in the apartment because it just makes life easier and lets me off the hook, right?

Oh well. Excuses or not I am back now and rededicating myself to this blog...at least until classes start in about 15 days and I have another excuse for why I'm too busy.

Cheers,
Kate