Breaking Bad....Habits

Sorry if the "breaking bad" caught your attention...this has nothing to do with the chemistry teacher turned meth maker. Once again, my apologies. What I do want to discuss today is breaking bad habits. As a parent we are our children's first teachers and often the biggest and most prevalent role models in their lives. Thus, our actions, especially when they are babies and young kids, pack a lot of punch.

A realization that I have had recently is that I might have already passed some bad habits on to Alex. It's not anything major or permanent, but in an attempt to soothe his every cry I have start both Alex and I on a dangerous road.

Now no mother wants to hear her child cry, and it is instinctual within us to want to soothe or fix or remedy whatever situation or circumstance might be bringing tears to their eyes. The only problem is that as our babies grow, they are going to encounter situations that cannot be helped and frustrations that cannot be fixed. They need to learn how to be patient and calm as well as how to deal with life's little obstacles. Thus by picking up Alex every time he fusses or popping a NUK in his mouth whenever he whines I am stomping out these chances he has to learn how to deal. I am a firm believer that a child or baby, no matter how small, is intelligent and can understand things on some level. He may not be able to verbalize his thoughts and feelings in words yet, but I do believe that pausing and giving Alex a chance to fuss for a minute and work things out on his own is beneficial.

I'm not advocating for mothers to let their children scream for endless stretches, but just pause and step back and observe your child. I have found myself surprised at how often Alex calms himself down after a minute of fussing. He's a smarty-pants even now and is learning how to fix his own problems because let's face it, no matter how badly we want to squelch every possible problem for our child, they need to learn how to do it for themselves because we can't and won't always be there for them.

So my goals lately have been to try and get Alex (and more importantly, myself) off some of the bad habits we've developed such as picking him up the minute he fusses, giving in to the ear-piercing screams and shrieks, and scooping him up as soon as he makes a peep at night. I think that Alex will learn a little patience and self-soothing and I'll get a little more sleep and eventually a more independent child.

Here's to hoping,
Kate